Deconstructing the word 'Religion': Why Relationships Can't Exist Without it

We live in a world where everyone is quick to label themselves and draw clear lines around who or what they are, from Spiritual, to Christian, to New Age, to non-practicing, to Atheist, to “I have a relationship with God but I'm not religious” to “I’m not religious, just spiritual,” to “I don’t go to church but I have a deep relationship with God,” to “I reject cultural norms,” to “I’m developing my own standard,” and so on.

When we label ourselves, a lot of the time we become so committed to defending those labels that we completely reject anything that challenges them - even if it’s true or worth considering. In doing so, we can end up rejecting real truths just to protect our personal versions of truth. This can quickly lead to self-absorption and that self-absorption can quietly take us further from the truth than we realise, all in the name of defending a label.

"It's not religion, it's a relationship"

I recently came across an Instagram carousel discussing the popular Christian phrase, “It’s not religion, it’s a relationship.” I’ve heard this said plenty of times and understand the context behind why many try to steer away from the word religion.

The word religion has become so tainted today, largely due to historical factors, but also because of humanity’s tendency to corrupt and evil’s nature to pervert anything Godly.

The post went on to explain that the phrase is really meant to reject legalism, the tight ropes, rules and pressures that humans have often projected onto others in the name of faith. I get why people think this way. Throughout history, so many atrocities have been committed in the name of religion.

Humans have a unique ability to twist, manipulate and remain blind - destroying and hurting others, all while claiming it's in the name of God. Religion has, at times, been used as a tool for destruction and the people who uphold their deceit under the guise of religion have made the word itself something many now completely reject.

Consistency Builds Connection

However, in its purest form - when you deconstruct the word and look at what it truly means, once you unravel the lies and deceit, you’ll come to find that no relationship works or can be sustained without some form of religious activity.

And this doesn’t just apply to Christianity, it applies to every area of your life.

It takes religion to build a relationship.

If you don’t religiously check in with a friend, offer support, meet up, and talk, how can you expect that relationship to grow? The same goes for God. You can’t develop a real relationship with Him without a level of consistent commitment.

Religion, in its simplest form, is about doing something consistently.

If you want to grow muscle, you go to the gym religiously.

If you want to master a degree, you study and research religiously.

If you want to improve a skill, you train and practice religiously.

If you want to become a better speaker, you rehearse religiously.

It’s the same with faith. Within Christianity, there are frameworks and guidelines that when followed genuinely, lead you closer to God. If you worship, pray and obey God’s commands consistently, your relationship with Him grows. That’s the point of religion at its core: to build and sustain something meaningful.

Everything else, the manipulation, control and pride -  is just corruption, and unfortunately, human nature has a tendency to corrupt.

The real issue isn’t religion itself, but how it's upheld and the intentions behind it.

In order for anything to thrive, you need rhythm, routine and boundaries, not to restrict, but to sustain.

Exams require focus, structure, and effort to pass. Achieving goals require discipline and a clear plan.

Relationships, with people or with God, require intentionality, time, and care.

Religion helps keep you accountable. It gives shape and structure to your spiritual growth. Doing something religiously adds depth and quality to your relationship with God. When you consistently pour into something with intention, it will always grow.

There is no relationship without religion.

We’re always feeding something. Our attention is always going somewhere. What you focus on grows. What you feed develops. Where you plant your seeds reveals your priorities.

In a chaotic world, religion brings structure. Without boundaries or parameters, personal interpretations can go unchecked and that can lead to confusion or even chaos.

Without a plan or a schedule, it’s harder to meet any goal. But with structure, like to-do lists or routines - we hold ourselves accountable and make sure we’re actually moving forward.

Religion isn’t the opposite of relationship. It’s what helps to uphold it.

C O N S I D E R . . .

Mind -  Ask yourself what negative connotations you may have linked to the word religion

Body - What have you religiously chosen to focus on this week?

Soul - Are you rejecting religion, or are you rejecting the discipline, structure, and accountability your soul actually needs to grow?