The Art of Yoga

This may sound like such a cliche and I promise I'm not trying to sound like a hippie or anything…But the PR for yoga is true! The yoga fanatics aren’t lying. Yoga has truly transformed my life.

When my mother passed away in 2021, I knew my life had changed forever. My world had literally turned upside down and I knew I needed a vice to let go of all of the pain that surrounded me and a place to sit still in my emotions to really understand and process what has happened.

I didn’t want to go down a bad path or become addicted to unhealthy things because the truth is I was mentally scarred from seeing how much my mum suffered with cancer, therefore, I wanted to be super healthy and remain healthy whilst finding good coping mechanisms.

At work, I'd always hear one of my colleagues rave about how great yoga is and how it helped her get through her days. I remember thinking to myself during the week my mum passed that it would be great to find a yoga class/instructor. “I hope I come across one someday somehow”. At this point, I felt really hopeless and helping myself was difficult, the most I could do in the early days when my mum passed was to go on long walks, I was also constantly surrounded by family.

It was until I went on my long walks near the riverside I came across a building and it was as if I had a light bulb moment or the halo effect surrounded the building. It’s crazy how something can exist right next to you and you never notice it until you need it.

Anyway, I walked into the building and saw a lady who owed the whole property and I just gave it to her straight:

“Hi, my mother died a few days ago and I’m intrigued about your classes” I said in the most candid way.

“Oh right I see, you will definitely be needing Yoga”

She said this in a way that was blunt, but reassuring and also had a hint of concern. (It’s probably because of the way I said it, I've been known to just say things the way they are, or because my mother died a few days ago. I guess people don’t expect you to be able to walk or even leave your house.)

Her response made me laugh, but I was ready to embark on this new chapter and see what the hype was really all about.

I opted for 'Yin Yoga', which is a quiet contemplative practice. One of the first things I noticed about this ancient practice that involves physical poses, concentration and deep breathing, was when I cried and began to release some of the pain in my life, the cries were very peaceful as if tears were just flowing. The cries felt so natural and calming as opposed to those cries where your boyfriend just broke up with you, or when you’re younger and you don’t get what you want so you throw a tantrum. These cries felt like a river just flowing naturally. It was truly peaceful because in those moments I was thinking about my mother and it enabled me to sit with my emotions as opposed to running away from them. In those moments I was very present and still. Everything was so raw so I felt every raw feeling. I’m glad I did at the time because when we run away from our emotions we tend to play catch up with them and they can come out in various other ways. I’m glad I chose this way.

As mentioned, yoga involves many physically challenging poses. The instructor will tell you to hold and there were times when I wished the instructor could count faster as holding certain positions was extremely painful but at the same time, this type of pain was freeing.

Leading up to the moment when my mother eventually passed away, it was very painful to watch her wither away. Her body had become so fragile and there were moments where she was constantly in pain and had to rely on medications just to feel some sense of peace and comfort. Watching someone you love be in so much pain is truly heartbreaking. I had a lot of pain stored inside my body.

According to psychcentral: “Trauma can be held in the body, leading to physical symptoms years later - such as headaches, jumpiness, chronic panic and dissociation. When you have an overwhelming experience, your logical mind might feel “over it” before your body does.”

Yoga has not only allowed me to feel the pain I am feeling but also allowed me to release it. There were times when I was extremely angry and hurt and I needed a way to address the pain. It’s like I wanted someone to punch me or pinch me because of the emotional pain I was feeling. I wanted to feel something as there were times when I felt so numb.

Yoga has allowed me to embrace the pain and sit with it and feel something. It has been truly transformative as you challenge your body in different ways and every muscle feels something.

There were times when I would hold the downward dog position and realise how still I was in those moments, yoga really allows you to sit with your thoughts and addresses things that haven’t necessarily been at the forefront. I remember speaking to my therapist at the time and he said during grief:

“You need to sit with your emotions, grief is like the ocean, you have to let the wave pass and eventually you’ll find yourself floating”

In those moments I truly realised what it meant to sit with your emotions and I was hoping that one day “this too shall pass”. Sitting in a sea of your emotions isn’t the easiest but I’m glad I addressed those raw emotions then and there, in a way I was beginning to feel a little bit stable despite the fact that my whole world had just been crushed.

I work and live in London and as you can imagine London is such a hustle and bustle city. We Londoners are constantly in a rush, on the move and get highly irritated by people with no sense of urgency, those who stand on the left hand side and ultimately anyone who gets in our way when walking and oh yeah… having to wait 3 minutes for the tube. How dare they. I needed something to calm my rivers as eventually, I'd have to go back to work. One thing about life is that it goes on and you have to move on. Time doesn’t wait for no man.

When I first started attending yoga I would go either on a Monday or Friday. Monday was a good choice as it sets the precedent for my week. However, Friday was just as great as it gave me a chance to wind down from a busy hectic week. I work in a highly stressful job so I had to find ways to combat stress especially given the fact that my mum had just passed.

I would certainly advise anyone to take up yoga and you don't necessarily have to take part if you haven’t been through trauma but there are so many benefits and I can honestly say the practice has helped me and enabled me to become more attuned with myself and address those subconscious thoughts and also release energy in a positive way.

I fell for the hype and I'm glad I did!

C O N S I D E R . . .

Mind - Consistent yoga practice creates mental clarity and calmness

Body - Yoga can relieve chronic stress patterns and increase body awareness

Soul - Yoga is good for the soul! It relaxes the mind, centers attention & sharpens concentration